A grisly discovery was made last night following the disappearance of one of the plywood gingerbread men set up in Columbus Park for the holidays: the 7-foot tall cookie humanoid was found face down in the snow, the victim of an apparent decapitation.
Not since San Francisco’s Mission District was rocked by the kidnapping of sandwich shop icon Mr. Pickle has a community been more outraged by an act of human-on-plywood violence. Naturally, Fox News is all over this horrific story.
Bob Simonds came upon the remains of the gingerbread man last night. (His name is being withheld, pending notification of his family.) WARNING: Graphic image could be disturbing to young gingerpeople.
What a bummer! Personally, I’m holding out hope that this wasn’t an act of malicious gingerbreadicide, but rather the result of a freak accident. Errant snow plow? Or maybe, just maybe, someone walking through downtown got REALLY hungry. Either way, the city of Haverhill is proving that these kinds of crimes against downtown beautification are going to be taken very seriously.