Everyone loves a good cheeseburger. But some people REALLY love a good cheeseburger.
Meet Jeremy. He’s the brains (or the stomach?) behind MassCheeseburgers.com, which is a blog about – you guessed it! – cheeseburgers.
Turns out that this modern-day Wimpy lives right here in Haverhill, so we thought it’d be cool to pick his brain and find out all about the Haverhill cheeseburger scene.
1. How often do you eat cheeseburgers?
I try to limit myself to four burgers a week. For a while I was eating them every day but then my body got pissed and I had to scrap the daily blog plan.
2. What is the craziest thing you’ve used as a bun?
Long before KFC’s Double Down sandwich… I was clogging my arteries with a McDonald’s double cheeseburger with two mcchicken patties in place of bread.
3. Have cheeseburgers ever come between you and your love life?
Of course not. I let every girl know the second I meet them that the cheeseburger will always come first. That way they won’t be let down when I can’t go to their cousin’s wedding because Burger King is launching a new meat monstrosity. Have I mentioned that I’m single?
4. Has your love of cheeseburgers had any kind of negative effect on your life?
Yeah. I just had to go 2 weeks without a burger because of chest pains. Getting back on that horse any day now though. Health is a great thing to have but I do this for the fans.
5. What do you think is the best burger in the Haverhill area?
The Grill Next Door is the most amazing place in Haverhill that I’ve been to. I haven’t blogged about it yet because it didn’t sit on my plate long enough to get it’s picture taken. I got the Club Burger and it was fantastic. They got awesome beer and stuff too.
6. What makes a good cheeseburger? What do you like in yours (besides Ellio’s Pizza)?
I’m a pretty basic burger guy. A lot of places will try to fancy their meat up with weird cheeses and dressings and junk. That’s just not cool.
But here’s the perfect burger: Toasted and buttered bun, romaine lettuce, american cheese, ketchup, bacon and a hand-formed patty.
Mayo does not belong on a burger and tomatoes seem like a good idea but they make the bun soggy.
Also… The burger patty goes directly on the BOTTOM bun. That way the bun soaks up the juices of the meat. Too many places put the veggies under the patty. It’s just not right.
7. Who would win in a fight: The Hamburglar or Grimace?
That honestly depends on which Grimace you mean. The original Grimace was a bad guy. That Grimace could easily demolish the Hamburglar. If you mean today’s Grimace… He would probably still win. Think about it… Giant purple blob vs a guy who keeps getting caught stealing burgers from 6 year olds by a clown with big red shoes. Throw in the McNugget Buddies though and all bets are off.
8. Do you think Haverhill has what it takes to become the cheeseburger capital of the Merrimack Valley?
Absolutely I do. Who else can take the title? Amesbury? Not with a silly name like that. Methuen? I hear they can’t even spell cheeseburger. So yeah. Pretty sure Haverhill’s got that locked up.
9. How far would you travel for the perfect cheeseburger?
When I created the “Wendy McKing” I had to drive to 2 different towns to assemble the ingredients. If I have to spend more than an hour on the road then it really isn’t worth my time.
10. What about the fries? How important are those to creating a satisfying cheeseburger experience?
Fries are delicious, but irrelevant. It’s nice to have something in case you’re still hungry after the burger though.
11. I love fries – who has the best fries?
You want good fries? You gotta go to The Grill Next Door. 7 different kinds of fries. Place is fricking amazing.
12. I’m a vegetarian – where can I get a good veggie burger?
…In my mind there is no such thing as a “good veggie burger”. Call it what it is. Pile of mushy vegetables smooshed into a ball and then flattened… But that probably wouldn’t fit on the label.
13. How tasty would a cheeseburger in paradise be?
Real quick… I hate Jimmy Buffet. I hate him so much that I refuse to put the second “T” at the end of his last name! Joking of course. He seems like a nice guy. You know he has a restaurant chain right? I see cheeseburgers as a comfort food, so I’d rather have a cheeseburger in Hell than a cheeseburger in paradise.
14. Finally, what would your life be like if you could never have a delicious cheeseburger again?
It would be one suckfest day after another. Give it time though. It’ll probably happen. The world of the future is going to be exactly like the movie Demolition Man.
