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Stuff Haverhill Needs: A Supermarket

April 17th, 2010 by

One of the reasons that Cosmic Amanda and I started this blog was because we both realized that Haverhill has a lot of potential – but it seems reluctant to make any significant growth.

I’ve only lived in the city for two weeks – but already the lack of a good supermarket has become a challenge.

Haverhill has THREE Market Baskets. Three. But not a single supermarket that sells edible produce.

Sure – I can go the Loop for Stop & Shop, Plaistow for Shaw’s, or stop at Whole Foods in Andover on my way home from work. But none of those options are really convenient when you just need a few items (trust me – don’t go to Plaistow).

When I’m driving home from work and realize that I need a cucumber for my Pimm’s Cup – I’m a little scared about stopping at MB and seeing what they have to offer.

On a recent trip to the store in Central Plaza, I found some green peppers:

I shouldn’t need to rub ProActiv on my peppers before I eat them.

(Strangely, while I was taking these pics – the green-jacketed produce department guy was dealing with a possibly-deranged woman complaining about the cost of peppers.)

I wouldn’t pay a penny for that peck of paltry peppers.

And, can someone please explain why EVERYTHING needs to be wrapped in plastic and styrofoam:

Bradford would be an ideal location for a Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods, and either section of town could easily support a Hannaford, Shaw’s (if the strike is over), or Stop & Shop.

Luckily, the Haverhill Farmer’s Market will be in action soon and then we can all get quality fruits and vegetables.

And my cocktails will no longer suffer from sub-par garnishes.

Bradford debate club

April 8th, 2010 by

Hmmm, who to root for? A real brain tickler.  Compelling arguments on both sides.

(The Bradford Debate Club meets behind Academy Plaza, which I pass every day on my way to my job at a huge multinational corporation.)

Street Art, She Wrote

March 31st, 2010 by

While you were busy pumping out your basement this week, this Bradford resident was doing a bit of super sleuthing…

There’s been a mystery baffling me since late fall. You see, one night back in November, I was driving home after an especially soul-crushing day spent languishing in my cubicle, when I rounded a corner on 125 and came face to face with this:

“Whaaaaat!?” I thought. Then I had to pull over to the side of the road I was laughing so hard. This is nearly Banksy-level shizz! Right here in Bradford! Amazing!

This moment was the very first to give me hope for the coolness of my city.

Ever since that fateful night, I’ve been keeping an eye out similar acts of awesomeness, all the while dying to know who the responsible party might be.

So, while it’s been pouring buckets these past few days I’ve been on a mission to uncover the truth…and I finally cracked the case!

While I can’t explain my investigative methods, for fear of spoiling the anonymity of the street artists behind the billboard hack, I did get the scoop on their motivation.

Says one of the artists:

“We’re into finding places to explore and leaving our mark in subtle ways that are more for humor than anything else. Obviously in this case it was just taking a jab at a bad comedian haha.

For instance, if we see a face that we find funny on a billboard or wherever, we’ll oftentimes dash out to the billboard in the dead of night, cut out the face using a box cutter, and then, using wallpaper glue, paste the face somewhere obscure and random, where if someone sees it, it’ll make their day. We don’t like these things to be too obvious, because we want it to stay up for at least a little while, so we tend to put them in areas people don’t tend to look in (but it’s usually something ballsy like the inside of an overpass on the highway or side of a bridge.)

So, if you have ever passed a billboard with it’s face cut-out (like that one in Bradford that they put up three times)… That’s us. Just a bunch of dudes having fun and trying to make people laugh or go ‘what??’ without spray painting or doing any permanent damage to anything. It’s all pretty ephemeral stuff, but I guess it’s sorta like building a sandcastle in that it’s fun to do anyway.”

So, there you have it. Case closed!

And, I really shouldn’t brag about my sweet detective skills, so I’ll defer to our mystery artist once again:

“By the way, really good detective work on your part. Bravo.”